Comfort Within The Storm
One of the first concepts discussed in counseling programs is to give up the idea that you are going to fix your clients. Drop the savior complex and accept the idea of supporting your clients *through* their own journey. Accepting the importance of autonomy was always easy for me. Aside from the endless empirical data supporting the significance of autonomy’s effect on health, there is something extraordinary about being a part of the sacred space where a suffering person, underestimating their own strength, finds healing and restoration through their own resilience and tenacity. As they continue to journey through counseling or move forward from it, seeing their fortitude and confidence provides consolation in accepting where the process takes them.
Now, it was difficult for me to let go of the idea that therapy doesn’t fix everything or end all suffering. It is a space to support clients in managing their ability to live and grow through suffering. Ugh. I can’t even begin to count the amount of times I have listened to an unbearable tragedy and wanted to say, “You came to the right place, the suffering ends now. The ailment, the disorder leaves you now. The individual will never hurt you again. You are protected from all of life’s storms from here on out.” I believe all therapists would love to wave that magic wand many times a day. I mean, we all got into this business because we love people, we don’t want to see suffering!
If life has taught us anything though, it's that we can always count on storms to come and sometimes even stick around. If I did give into the above false promises, I would have many, many disappointed and hurt clients and definitely a ton of nasty yelp reviews.
Counseling is a place to experience compassionate insight and understanding of your hardships, uncover your resilience, make healthy adjustments, and learn safe ways to manage the hardships of life. If you are finding yourself in a storm or realizing you have been treading water for long enough, don’t be afraid to take steps towards uncovering your own resilience! I bet you will surprise yourself with the strength you find from within.
